she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
please come you make the beer taste better
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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