is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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