wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
