exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
she pinky promised me she was 18
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Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
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Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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