So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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