dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I could make wine with my vomit
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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