Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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