at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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