Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
