If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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