i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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