Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
