when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
