but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
