Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
