If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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