Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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