That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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