I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
