I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Randomize
