Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
