I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
