arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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