you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Randomize
