I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
