sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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