And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You just made me feel so damn special
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
