Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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