She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
