Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
