Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
