i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
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The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
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Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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