Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize