Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
