"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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