If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
