I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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