FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
