Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
she told me i tasted like america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize