Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
