I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
