he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
