I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
So vagazzling was a success
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
