dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
