some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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