i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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