My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
