Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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