Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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