If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize