Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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