grandma shit on top of the toilet
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
