it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Randomize
