Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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