also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize