I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
The feeling are messing with the penis
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Randomize
