I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
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I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
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I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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