Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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