Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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