It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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