the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
